Today, my daughter stayed home from preschool with the beginning of pink-eye. Ugh! It is just a nasty nasty bacteria an it breaks my heart every time I have to pin my poor daughter down to insert drops into her beautiful hazel eyes.
All and all, it was a pretty miserable day : Crankiness reigned and mom and daughter did not see eye to eye on much. Meals were a challenge, activities were a rooster fight, even simple task like going to the potty became a grande scale war. More than once today, I had to walk away for a minute to catch my breath, something I’m not at all comfortable doing. There is something so utterly gut wrenching about turning your back to your child, even for a moment, when you know that them acting out is a direct mirror of the inner crisis that is raging inside their small bodies.
But they always bring you back…
During a short truce in the battles of the day, I got her to sit down with me and play Candyland. As the cards turned in her favor and she was ushered quickly up to Candy Castle, I looked at her smiling and asked her if she wanted to play again. She looked at me, very tenderly and said : “But maman, the game isn’t done. You haven’t won yet.” She then proceeded to pick cards for me until my little yellow gingerbread man made its way up to her and then called the game won!
This reminded me of a quote I saw a few years back that said : “Your toddler isn’t giving you a hard time, he’s having a hard time.” I don’t know who said it, but I sure wish I did.
Patience and compassion, empathy and a loving heart, these are the things I strive for everyday. These are the things my children help me cultivate. Through my example, although not always the best example, they will become who they should be and it is my job to make sure they are the best they can be.
So I truly repent for my short comings and my inability to separate myself from my own suffering, in a situation when her suffering was what I needed to help take away.
Good night everyone.