Being a parent…
(Picture taken by my brother-in-law on Little Miss 1st birthday – Sept 2011)
As we are fast approaching the end of our Little Miss’ 4th turn around the sun, I’m finding myself honestly more and more pensive about our journey together so far.
When you become a parent for the first time, you are filled with dreams and ideals. You quickly find out some will come true and others will, unavoidably be out of your control.
I like to think that I’m a pretty good mom : I try to be there constantly, I have forgotten about myself more often than I care to mention and I would like to think that the example I set for my kids is one that will help guide them in their choices in their future lives.
But I still get knocked down a peg more often than I would also care to mention and that always leaves me feeling like much less of a good mom. A harsh reality I’ve come to grips with this year is that no matter what you do, preschoolers can be blunt, curt, often egocentric and sometimes just plain out mean. And I’m okay with that : They have no filter at that age, which most times, makes them really refreshing. They are learning about social convention and are slowly realizing that they are not always at the center of things and every once in a while, things need to revolve around something/someone else.
But every once in a while, my heart bleeds. Tears well up, hands go numb, something in me shatters and I need to walk away. And that is when I feel the less like a good mom.
This morning was one of those mornings.
And I know the feeling will pass as I go about my day, but for now, I have walked away.
Wishing you a day filled with “walking toward”.
Family, Faith, Food and Fabric 
Hugs mama. xo
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❤
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Yanic, sometimes walking away is the best thing ever. I think there is something beautiful in teaching your children that you can not handle everything and that YOU need a time out, time to think things through, figuring out how to deal with them. That gives them permission to do the same.
T
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Thank you Teri. I know conflict resolution is also part of their (and our) learning process. It,s funny cause in preschool, they have these little emotions flash cards to help them express themselves. I keep thinking we need a set at the house. Maybe it would be ore real to her if I would show her how I feel. You talk AT them so much at this age… Maybe a visual would make it easier.
xo
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Hugs to you! Parenting is a bittersweet endeavor, but you ought to feel so peaceful and strong with how you react to the situations in loving kindness and acceptance, rather than lashing out based on fleeting emotion like so many do. You are setting a wonderful example. xo
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Thank you for your kind words. ❤
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I understand that very well. And I’m beginning to accept that it’s normal and human to have limits. After all, if our kids must learn theirs, they can accept that their moms sometimes have enough. It’s healthy. Cheers then, you’re not alone!
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Thank you for sharing… I know walking away can be healthy, it’s just so hard when the kids don’t understand why, you know?
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Maybe you can talk to him/her later on, when you feel more in control again…?
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She is more in the “I don’t know why I do the things I do” phase, which is why sometimes, talking is hard. But we do our best, don’t we? Thank you for the suggestion…
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I see. Well, at least you will know and I’m sure she will too, deep down. I’m also sure you know what’s best for her. My children are older now but i remember those moments, keep the faith, they will pass too…
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Thank you! ❤
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(((Hugs))) I know this ache all to well. We are perfect in our imperfections are we not? Being able to walk away is a mark of a good mum in my book; and when we have less then stellar days it’s important to remind yourself that the sun will still rise tomorrow. Sometimes when reading blogs I think that I must be the only person on this earth that life gets to, but it’s important to remember that everyone has these moments, we just don’t always share them. Thank you for sharing and helping me to remember we are all on this boat called life together. Shine on.
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You are so welcome and thank you for the kind words. When I started my blog, I promised myself it wasn’t going to be all roses. If the day came when I needed to journal some pain, I would. If I can help other moms feel less alone (cause it’s true, many blogs make it sooo easy don’t they?), then it makes writing all worth it. xo
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Children aren’t always easy, especially when you’re around them 24/7. Walking away is sometimes the best option, much better than shrieking at them which sometimes feels like the alternative! And talking to them later is all very well but I usually find the best thing with litlle ones later is a huge hug. They generally know, at all ages in fact, when they’ve behaved unkindly and they usually feel bad enough about it themselves and are desperate for some love and forgiveness. That’s our experience anyway, and I think role modelling that loving, kind behaviour is far more powerful than words. Hope you’ve had lots of wonderful moments since this morning to wipe away the memory.
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LOL! I’ve had lots of wonderful moments, and a few trying ones… But yes, I also feel like talking to them much after the moment has passed makes it harder for them to connect to the event. They are so “in the present”… but yes, they usually feel bad, but can’t express it so it comes out strange and awkward. We always walk back towards each other and say “clean slate”… We both know what it means. 🙂 xo
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