Sigh of relief

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Sorry for taking so long to give news, I know so many of you are probably wondering if things went really badly. Rest assured, they didn’t. Things are quite wonderful actually, but our day did run away from us with many unexpected events (including a trip to the emergency room for Little Miss to have 3 stitches sewn on her chin after a nasty fall at the park) so here I finally am.

The evaluation went really well. Little Man liked the therapist instantly. She was even able to sit him down on her lap for a few seconds 2 or 3 times. He was very comfortable around her. He was very interested in the toys she brought so stayed very concentrated and quiet. She was hoping for a bit more babbling to evaluate the sounds he was able to make, but she still feels she got enough info to write up a great intervention plan.

She said that most of the “quirks” could easily be explained by his speech delay and his partial deafness. Like she explained : If he can’t speak to tell us he doesn’t understand something and possibly can’t hear us well when we try to explain something, we probably make very little sense to him most of the time. This would explain why he plays so inappropriately with a lot of his toys. He’s kind of making it up as he goes.

This morning, we ended up hitting the used toy store for a few toys she recommended as well. Apparently, although his fine motor skills are way beyond his age (she says about 30 months instead of 22), he’s missing some of those early skills that would help him with putting together sequences of “events” that lead to “results”. (Like shape sorting, stacking, button pushing, pop up, keys and knobs type of things, etc.) Usually, these skills are mastered between 12 and 18 months. She explained that those early skills bring the brain to make that “2+2=4” type of thinking. That is a necessary skill for word and sentence construction later on. We had gotten rid of all those thinking he was passed them and just not interested. But she said it would be good for him to go back and try to master these even if the typical age has passed. So we got a few this morning and will be working on that. Anything to help him catch up.

One thing she did say is that we will have to try to make him “work for things” a bit more. Since he’s gotten used to getting what he wants without saying a word, he probably sees no reason to do it. Which means a bit of tough love. Not frustrate him to a point of making him angry and creating a conflicting and hostile environment, but playing dumb a bit when he wants something. She gave the example of a a cup of water on the counter. If he comes reaching for the cup whining, just start pointing at a few things around what he wants to “delay gratification” by 5-10 seconds. She said that might just be enough to spark his desire to get his point across because we all know how much toddlers LOVE to wait and those 5 seconds can seem like an eternity to them. It will force him to re-evaluate his strategy.

She has recommended a follow-up with an occupational therapist for some of his sensory issues like the biting his hands and such. Just so it doesn’t become something he could really hurt himself with. But all in all, she doesn’t see the need to put in any recommendation for any autism or ASD related evaluation. You can imagine how very relieved we all are.

Her last recommendation was for us to really start sticking to one language with him (which we are horrible at because Little Miss prefers English). We will also look into play groups for him next year to get him in contact with kids his own age. If being told how something works is a challenge, maybe being able to observe more will fill in the gaps. She will be coming back in one week with the full intervention plan and some materials and resources for us. She was a very lovely, nurturing kind of person. She recommends we all see each other again for an in-home visit in 3 months. He will be 2 years old then and we can see where he’s at and if some of her recommendations will change. She said to continue with basic sign language if we have been getting good responses.

So now we relax! We let Spring unfold, we enjoy Summer… We are happy, we feel like we have done all we can. We will keep working on his food issues with our doctors, hopefully we will get answers soon, but now we breathe. Breathing is good.

After a long and well deserved nap for him, we headed for the bike path near our home. The temperatures reached 18’C yesterday (64’F) and after shedding many layers, I let him be free. I know I should have taken this opportunity to point and name, help him listen, try to teach, but I didn’t… we splashed and walked, turned and crawled, touched and tasted… The silence was nice. I think most times, he is teaching me more than I teach him. Learning to just be is the most important gift he will have given me.

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About Yanic A.

Hello to all of you and thank you for stopping by! My name is Yanic. I'm a wife to a wonderful husband, a mother of 2 beautifully complex and unique children and a lover of all things inspiring. Having started a personal journey of self discovery when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter 4 years ago, I've since embraced a daily life of simpler pleasures and gratitude. As we get to know each other, you will know me as a quilter, a gardener, a Tao cultivator, a vegetarian foodie, a true believer in a healthy family life as being the secret to my happiness and hopefully as time goes on, a friend... I will try to share with you my days as they unfold, speaking of my happy successes without censoring my challenges, trying to make this blog a true portrait of the ever-changing path that I have chosen for myself. I'm hoping to find in these pages others to share with and learn from, bringing to light the absolute connection in all things and people, showing this world as being a true community.
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34 Responses to Sigh of relief

  1. Jennifer says:

    Hi Yanic, this sounds like very good news about your son. We went through some similar things when our son was a toddler; he was a very late talker and had some motor issues too. His speech comprehension was very good but his articulation was very far behind his age level. He also had some behavioral quirks (in particular, he loved to line things up on the floor in a very meticulous way and seemed to fixate a bit on electrical outlets on the walls). Initially, there was some discussion of ASD diagnosis but the more the therapists worked with him, they were sure it was just his own personality and style of learning. They cited the fact that my husband is an engineer and very meticulous in his work habits as part of this; the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In the end, after occupational and speech therapies, our son was fully caught up and was even ahead. He was reading around the same time he started talking! He’s nine years old now and doing beautifully. I am so thankful that he got therapies when was younger. I am sure you will have a positive experience too. I look forward to watching your son’s progress!

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you so much for sharing your story and your encouraging words. It does make sense that genes would kick in… Both my kids are a bit “OCD” about certain ways of doing things, routines, manners… My husband can be super particular about it too. My daughter is super messy, so am I. LOL! It’s been hardest on my daughter. She is very dependent on words. She has trouble communicating if she cannot speak. So it’s been hard for her to feel the connection. But like today, they were both in their car seats and he reached over and grabbed her hand and held it for a long time. We just have to keep reminding her that love can be expressed in many forms. 🙂

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  2. Carie says:

    Wonderful wonderful wonderful – I’m so glad your therapist turned out to be exactly the sort of person to suit your family, it sounds like you have a great plan in place and I can imagine that would be very comforting to know where you go next 🙂

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you Carie… Yes, we are just finally in a great place mentally. We were trying to keep sane so much, but I won’t lie, it was a lot of blows one after the other (dairy allergies, then deafness, then gluten intolerance and ow possible autism), but now, we are on our way to better for him and for us. It will be amazing to watch him grow leaps and bounds now that we have such an amazing support system.

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  3. barnraised says:

    Glad it went so well and I love your beautiful twist at the end of your post…if we would all only slow down and “listen” and learn from children.

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  4. What a huge relief for you all that he connected with her in such a positive way. It sounds like she is going to be the perfect support for you and your family as you navigate your way through the coming months. I do hope all her ideas are ones that work for your little one. So wonderful to hear that all is well 🙂

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you very much… After writing my post, I remember thinking that relief wasn’t big enough of a word. But I don’t think there is a word to express how we felt after she left. We are very much looing forward to the months ahead. It will be hard work, but I’m sure it will yield amazing results.

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  5. Such good news my friend. How lovely to be supported so wonderfully through this process. Having some concrete ways to help your little man will make the world of difference on this journey.

    So sorry about little miss, hope she is okay and healing well.

    Hope you are enjoying your weekend. xo

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you Kim, I’m looing forward to the next few months. I think he will surprise us all. And yes, she is fine. She did NOT like getting stitches at all. She has to go back on Thursday to have them taken out and she makes us promise every day that it won’t hurt as much. Poor darling. It’s a good life lesson for sure. Both my hubby and I were daredevils, so the apple doesn’t fall far for sure!

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  6. Oh, it’s good to hear the news, and the good news even more! I am glad that you have such a caring therapist. Her kindness and guidance can mean so much for you guys. All the allergies and his deafness, it is easier to handle when you understand it more and know in which direction to head on. I’ve heard of the ‘tough love’ method for kids who are late in developing speech and autism, too. My husband’s bosses have a 4 year old with autism and this method is really helping him become more vocal about what we wants and needs. I’m sure that, with your love and understanding, everything will be great! Have a great next week!

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you my dear. Although we knew all the recommendations, we took a break this week-end. We just enjoyed being, stress free, taking advantage of the sunshine. Tomorrow, we start our new routine and strategies. I’m hoping e takes well to it. She did warn us there will be resistance since for him, he will not want to “revert” to an age he has passed. But it will be up to us to make it fun and new. In 1 week, he will have his big sister here full time to help him out too. That should make a world of difference. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m so happy that you had a good visit and liked her. Boy that sounds like lots to digest and how nice that she gave you lots of ideas. I do hope your little girl heals well, getting stitches is NOT fun. Our son was a frequent ER visitor 🙂

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Haha, both my husband and I had VIP passes for the ER. 🙂 It was a lot of information, but we thrive on info. Both my husband and I like to leave no stone unturned. We were very happy about how honest and detailed she was.

      Thank you for your kind words dear Karen. xo

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  8. Robin says:

    Wonderful news! Isn’t it great when something seemingly difficult works out to be smaller than we thought. I hadn’t thought of everyone not making sense to him. Every child should have parents as attentive and loving.

    Poor Little Miss. I bet that hurt.

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you so much Robin for your kind words once again. Everyone is always so generous. I hope he feels how much we want him to be happy and healthy. I know it won’t be easy, but we will make it together. Maybe it,s what we need to finally slow down even more. Get on all 4s all the time, be at his level, speaking more clearly and with intention. It will be a great exercise for all of of I think.

      Poor Little Miss indeed! She was a champ though, but my mama-heart just broke. She is much better now, the stitches come out Thursday already. Thank you for thinking of her. xo

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  9. remmus26 says:

    So glad to hear all of this Yanic. Sounds like you have a very good feeling about this therapist. Hoping that continues. And oh my! So glad to hear N is okay, but my goodness, that must have been scary. Hoping she heals up quick!! Much love Mama!! xoxo

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you, I’m sure it will continue. We are going with her until a spot opens up in our local family center. Once it does, we will be switching. But she said we could continue with her part time if ever the wait in between visits seems too long. He may end up with 2. 🙂 Now that is service! Little Miss is fine now, but yes, very scary! My legs went numb when they started fixing her up. I’ve never been on that side of stitches before (I was the daredevil that always had them done. She is healing up wonderfully. xo

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  10. I’m very happy to read that Yanic! i’m sure you’ll soon see the results of this beautiful encounter. it’s so good to feel understood, right? My children don’t have hearing issues, but i’ve experienced a lot of frustration for my son’s behaviour when he was younger and I very much enjoyed wen e finally met someone that gave us some useful clues. Crossing fingers for you!

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you my dear… It does feel wonderful. We’ve already seen huge results just pulling back out the 12 to 18 month old toys. He gets very frustrated, but he also has gained a bit of concentration already in the 4 days since the first meeting. We are very excited.

      May I ask what the behavioural issues with your son were? You can write me if you feel like sharing : ffff.blog _at_ Hotmail.com

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  11. sally says:

    Great news, I’m so glad you all liked her and she sounds really useful and full of sensible, practical ideas too. Hope the chin is healing up nicely as well.

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    • Yanic A. says:

      The chin is doing very well. The stitches come out tonight already so I’m sure she is looking forward to that!

      We are very happy it went so well. Now! To get him to do the exercises she suggested. That is another situation all together. LOL!

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  12. My apologies, sweet friend, for being behind in blog reading! I am so, so, so happy for this wonderful news and for such a positive experience for all of you! These suggestions are sure to help him so much and I bet that you’ll see much improvement quickly! xo

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you Shel… we are really not out of the woods yet, lots of work ahead, but I’m sure it can only go wonderful places. 🙂 I may still pick your brain if that is okay? Just to get some ideas on how to gt him “out of his bubble” a bit… xo

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  13. Three stitches! Seems there is always something exciting going on at your house 😉 All very good news otherwise and I am happy for you all. I was thinking of you the other day as I am reading a book called, “Far from the Tree” by Andrew Solomon. It’s about families that have a child with a “difference,” from their parents and how families manage to navigate this new adventure in their lives. There is a chapter on individuals that are deaf and I learned a lot that I didn’t know about deaf culture. I didn’t even know there was a deaf culture!

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    • So, for the record I just went back and read that chapter and am taking my recommendation off the table 😉 It is interesting and honest and inspiring but often hard to read. Maybe not the most helpful thing at the moment! Still sharing in your sigh of relief 🙂

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      • Yanic A. says:

        I still might check it out! Thank you…

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      • He says some things with great clarity–like the challenge that parents have of raising a child with a difference, the historical path of supporting (or not) people who are different, and offering biographical stories. Sadly, some of these stories are difficult to read because people did not have the resources, namely love, they needed to thrive Of course that will not be the case for you guys!

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      • Yanic A. says:

        Thank you for your sweet words… and no! No short amount of love here, no matter what may come. 🙂

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Oh yes, both my hubby an I were daredevils so the apples don’t fall far, which is funny to say now that you’ve mentioned the title of your book! LOL! Although you took back your recommendation, I may still check it out. Funny enough, now that I’ve talked to family members on both sides of the family, it seems there were some very late talkers and very hyperactive, focus lacking behavior happening with a lot of boys on my husband’s side. They all caught up in the end. (Some as late as almost 3 before even speaking a word) so many it’s just in the genes. Either way, the speech and behavioral therapists can only help! 🙂

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  14. kathrynpagano says:

    This is so wonderful to read! Hugs!

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