There she goes…

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For weeks, months, years even, we’ve been building up to today.

When Little Miss was 2 years old and the yellow buses would drive in front of our home in the morning, she would point and scream out “me too!”. When she was three, she asked if she could learn to write her name. When I asked her why, she said “to play school of course”. Then a place in a very cool little bilingual preschool opened up blocks from our place and she was very excited to say she was going to “little school”.

But this morning, this morning was big school. She spent the better part of 45 minutes putting her outfit together, telling me exactly how she wanted her hair and choosing the right hair pins. She was so excited last night, she woke up at 2 am asking us when it would be time to leave. Poor honey had circles under her eyes this morning, but the biggest and brightest smile you’ve ever seen.

She met her teacher, Miss Nathalie, and found her place in class. She had already made a friend between the gymnasium assembly and her home room and by the time we left her first meet & greet, she made me PROMISE tomorrow would be a full day and she would get to eat lunch there. Oh, and she wants egg salad sandwiches. LOL!

As I was walking a few feet behind her, heading to the place that would see her grow up for the next 4 years, I felt emotions I knew would pop up : I felt proud of the lady she is growing up to be, excited about all the new adventures that she will be having, a bit scared of all the outside influences that will be entering my home. But the emotion that didn’t come that I was expecting was a bit of sadness. As I walked into that assembly. I was surrounded by parents that were tearing up, reminiscing about toddler years and wondering where the years went.  And I searched, my heart, my soul, even started feeling guilty for a split second, but I stopped myself and took a long breath.

My daughter is happy. Me, in that moment, was witnessing Her, in that moment, truly happy. And that should not inspire sadness in me. Will I miss her everyday? Absolutely. But do I trust her to be my guide on her path? To walk it with her, but let her lead? Absolutely.

So off she goes, with me never far behind.

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About Yanic A.

Hello to all of you and thank you for stopping by! My name is Yanic. I'm a wife to a wonderful husband, a mother of 2 beautifully complex and unique children and a lover of all things inspiring. Having started a personal journey of self discovery when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter 4 years ago, I've since embraced a daily life of simpler pleasures and gratitude. As we get to know each other, you will know me as a quilter, a gardener, a Tao cultivator, a vegetarian foodie, a true believer in a healthy family life as being the secret to my happiness and hopefully as time goes on, a friend... I will try to share with you my days as they unfold, speaking of my happy successes without censoring my challenges, trying to make this blog a true portrait of the ever-changing path that I have chosen for myself. I'm hoping to find in these pages others to share with and learn from, bringing to light the absolute connection in all things and people, showing this world as being a true community.
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21 Responses to There she goes…

  1. Carlin says:

    So sweet!! Thanks for sharing her joy 🙂

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  2. Marie says:

    Bravo Yanic, c’est très touchant et très joli ce que tu as écrit. Tu as tout à fait raison de faire confiance à ta petite demoiselle. Tout un monde nouveau s’offre à elle et elle a vraiment envie de l’explorer semble-t-il. Elle sait sûrement que tu n’es pas loin, voilà pourquoi elle se sent si en confiance. J’imagine que ça va aussi très bien à sa personnalité. Mais si je peux me permettre, je pense que c’est naturel d’avoir un petit pincement au coeur, une petite touche de tristesse dans ces moments si importants. Pour la plupart des mamans (et aussi des papas probablement!), voir grandir nos enfants est sans contredit un réel bonheur, mais c’est aussi une succession de petits renoncements à la vie passée et ce, à chaque étape. C’est à la fois magnifique mais avec un petit côté nostalgique. Un rappel que le temps, quoiqu’il arrive, passe. Personnellement, je pense que c’est depuis que j’ai des enfants que je sens autant ce passage du temps. Mais c’est aussi une belle motivation à profiter encore plus de nos moments ensemble! Je t’envoie toute mon amitié. Tu fais un travail de maman exceptionnel 🙂

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Oh, absoluement! Je crois qque je me suis mal exprimée, so I’Ll write this part in English for everyone : I didn’t mean that I thought the emotion of sadness wasn’t right. I meant that my understanding of why I wasn’t feeling it was because we had been preparing for so long and with preschool and such, I had already lived a bit of the “leaving the nest” experience. I have a feeling that longing for the good-ol’-days feeling will hit me like a tone of bricks when (if) Little Man heads off to school. But another thing I think that is calming my soul is the fact that I’m home : I don’t have to rush her to school daycare at 7am to make it to work and pick her up hours after class finishes because I’m stuck in traffic coming home. Maybe all that extra time (almost 4 hours a day, I counted) is what is making me feel like our days will still belong mostly to us.

      Merci pour les gentils mots Marie… xo

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      • Marie says:

        Ça me fait plaisir pour les mots gentils. Je pense qu’ils bien sont mérités 🙂 For sure, being home before and after school can make a huge difference I think, both for you and for her. No need to rush because of your own schedule, plus it gives you more time to spend all together. It is a good way to help with the transition for everybody and have more balanced days 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. erdhummel says:

    All the best for her!! May she have lots of fun and meet many great, new, inspiring friends! And may the outside influences mainly be positive ones!!

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you… I hope so as well. We’ve fared pretty well so far and even though we’ve had to address a few issues of group-led behavior, she’s always been very reasonable and we can usually bring her back to her center fairly easily. The group is small (16 kids) and the teacher seems very nice. Her classroom is set up in a way that promoted lots of movement and accessibility to creative endeavors. I can’t wait to see how the next few months go.

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  4. Mountain Girl says:

    Oh, yes–there she goes. She’s off! I know the feeling–happy and sad together. Hope she soars.

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  5. how sweet! I hope she has a wonderful school year 🙂

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  6. sally says:

    Great that she’s excited and happy, and that does make it much easier for you, I’m so glad you didn’t feel guilty for not feeling sad, that would have kind of defeated the not being sad part! I always struggle to not feel sad at the start of any school year, never mind beginning a completely new era. Not sad because they’ll be off doing new, things without me, but sad that the Summer is over and I have to admit sad that we’re all another year older and their childhoods are whizzing past too fast for my liking!

    Like

    • Yanic A. says:

      I have to agree with you that they are all growing up way too fast, but somehow, that was happening even before school, you know? LOL! As for summer, when I was a kid, I always found summer break too long. I was always happy when June came around, but by mid august (when the school lists would come in) I was ready. Gosh I loved back to school week. It was always my favorite time of year. 🙂

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  7. KerryCan says:

    What a big transition! And my sister would tell you that you will blink and, the next thing you know, she’ll be heading to university. I think it’s wonderful that your girl is so excited for school–may that always be so!

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    • Yanic A. says:

      It always was for me so I’m hoping he carries that love of learning with her always. And yes, I know it will creep up on me. Seems like 2015 is just flying by already.

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  8. What a big day for you all :). I have never had to go through it, yet, but maybe one day I will if my children want to go to school. It must have been hard to stand back and see it through her eyes and be happy for her through your own sadness.

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    • Yanic A. says:

      It was a little hard, but it’s been so long in the making that it almost felt like the natural next step. I’ve had to make due with the fact that y daughter has no interest in homeschooling with me a long time ago so in a way, the mourning period had passed. But she knows that door is always open if she would choose to enter it. 🙂

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  9. jenny says:

    once again, BEAUTIFUL thoughts! i just love the way you put these feelings into words. luckily my children have all felt exactly the same so in love with school. my nine year old daughter had the same excited sleepless night… she could not wait for school to start 🙂 it feels so good to have learning bring them such happiness!

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Thank you I hope she continues loving it. I’ve always been such a lover of all things “learning”. But I know right now that more than learning, she is excited about new friends, a teacher, feeling so grown-up… Goes by so fast!

      Like

  10. Appleshoe says:

    Awe, best wishes for you and your family on this new chapter. This will give her time to stretch her wings and time for you to work with Little Man. I want to homeschool Panda, but therapy will continue free of charge if I send him to preschool. That would also give me time with Badger… So many choices, so many paths. It’s sometimes hard to hear our heart telling us over the noise what is best for our families. You listen well mama. Shine on.

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    • Yanic A. says:

      Indeed… choices are abundant and hard to make. What I always remind myself is that you can always change your mind. If ever you decide to send him to preschool and it’s not a good fit, you can always bring him home.

      And yes, it does feel like sending her to school is a gift, not a sacrifice. She gets to have this time surrounded by friends her age, learning and thriving and I get to be fully present to address Little Man’s needs. Then she comes home and it’ all about play and fun. They reconnect, we head out, we enjoy the rest of the day. She isn’t told to wait, be calm or quiet… He isn’t told no, restrained or stuck doing something he doesn’t want to do. Life is good. And with as short as her days are (8am to 2 pm), I get the best of both world because I get to do some homeschooling. As these first weeks move along, I’m feeling more and more content with our decision. But as I said : I can always change my mind and that is the beauty.

      Have a wonderful week dear friend. xox

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