For weeks, months, years even, we’ve been building up to today.
When Little Miss was 2 years old and the yellow buses would drive in front of our home in the morning, she would point and scream out “me too!”. When she was three, she asked if she could learn to write her name. When I asked her why, she said “to play school of course”. Then a place in a very cool little bilingual preschool opened up blocks from our place and she was very excited to say she was going to “little school”.
But this morning, this morning was big school. She spent the better part of 45 minutes putting her outfit together, telling me exactly how she wanted her hair and choosing the right hair pins. She was so excited last night, she woke up at 2 am asking us when it would be time to leave. Poor honey had circles under her eyes this morning, but the biggest and brightest smile you’ve ever seen.
She met her teacher, Miss Nathalie, and found her place in class. She had already made a friend between the gymnasium assembly and her home room and by the time we left her first meet & greet, she made me PROMISE tomorrow would be a full day and she would get to eat lunch there. Oh, and she wants egg salad sandwiches. LOL!
As I was walking a few feet behind her, heading to the place that would see her grow up for the next 4 years, I felt emotions I knew would pop up : I felt proud of the lady she is growing up to be, excited about all the new adventures that she will be having, a bit scared of all the outside influences that will be entering my home. But the emotion that didn’t come that I was expecting was a bit of sadness. As I walked into that assembly. I was surrounded by parents that were tearing up, reminiscing about toddler years and wondering where the years went. And I searched, my heart, my soul, even started feeling guilty for a split second, but I stopped myself and took a long breath.
My daughter is happy. Me, in that moment, was witnessing Her, in that moment, truly happy. And that should not inspire sadness in me. Will I miss her everyday? Absolutely. But do I trust her to be my guide on her path? To walk it with her, but let her lead? Absolutely.
So off she goes, with me never far behind.