I was in the back room yesterday, putting away clothes. Little Man was in the living room happily playing with a box (yep, all the toys in the world would never beat a good sturdy box) and Little Miss was drawing. Suddenly, I heard something spill. It didn’t seem like anything had broken and it seemed like a “plasticky” sound so I didn’t worry. I walked slowly back into the kitchen and found a rainbow mess.
My oh my, he was so proud. He looked at me with those big blue eyes. Maybe he was expecting a reaction, but I just got on my knees, hugged him and guided his hand to the clips, pointing at the bag I was holding in hopes that he would pick up a few to help… and he did.
As I briefly mentioned in my 52 Project post last Sunday, we found out this past Friday that Little Man is deaf in his left ear and possibly partially deaf in his right one. Seems like sounds of all frequencies are an issue in the left, but only high frequencies are problematic in the right. For now, they managed to do all the testing they could for someone so small. They will be seeing us again in 6 months for another round of testing, this time to try to measure the degree (%) of deafness in each ear. We have an in-home evaluation scheduled for mid-April with a speech therapist that specializes in hearing loss in toddlers. She will be able to help us with tricks and tools, strategies to stimulate his speech. In the meantime, we have started learning a few sign language words, we’ve eliminated a lot of sources of white noise in the house to facilitate his concentration and we have taken a step back and started working on simple words again.
Don’t feel sad for us please, I’m writing this because I’m happy. Not happy that my son is deaf, but funny enough, it seems all the tension has left the house. Suddenly, we are at peace with the situation. Why? Because we know. Not knowing and just going through the motions is the worst. For months now, we knew something was amiss. You try not to worry, you try to tell yourself it will all work out, but deep down, you have a feeling you are in denial. I think if my son was simply not talking, I would not have been so worried. But the fact that he wasn’t hearing (or listening) to us, not even turning his head most time when we called him by name, THAT was weighing on me. But now we know… knowledge is absolute power and we will be harnessing all that power to make this a grand adventure! And today I’m grateful :
- For having an amazing husband and father to my children that is unafraid and ready for anything, right along with me.
- For family and friends that are positive and won’t treat him any differently. That believe that he will thrive and show us all just how amazing he can be.
- For a Little Man that will never know anything different, with us having found out so early, this will be his “normal”.
- For having decided to stay home with him, not knowing this was coming, but always feeling staying at home was the right thing to do.
- For my faith in a greater force that can help us through anything.
- For this smile, that lights up my days…
Family, Faith, Food and Fabric 
I’m so glad you figured it all out and are feeling at peace with it. You are right, not knowing is the absolute worst. Such a heartwarming post. ❤
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Thank you Carlin. ❤ right back!
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Yanic, thank you for sharing. You know, as I was reading this, I didn’t feel sad for you, in fact, I felt that twinge of excitement I feel whenever I hear about someone entering the deaf community. It is a very tight, wonderful community with an incredible sense of pride. I’m not personally part of the community, but my research area is language acquisition, so I have learned a lot about sign language over the years in the context of language development. I would love to talk to you about it if you are ever interested. And again, thank you for sharing. As you say, I think you are in for an exciting new adventure!
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I am 100% interested… thank you so much for your generous offer. We are confident that this will not be anything to stop him. We are lucky to have a very highly regarded school for the deaf here in town if ever it becomes clear he needs it. I’ve also reached out to the local health center and they have support groups for families and such. It,s hard to make too many plans until we know exactly “how deaf” he is. But we are trying to just move along. Any wisdom would be more than appreciated, thank you again.
ffff.blog@hotmail.com
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It will be an exciting adventure for you my friend, because of your attitude. Things are only dark when we refuse to see the light, and you are seeing the light of the path ahead, the exciting adventure ahead for you, and your family, and that will make all the difference in the world.
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Thank you Kim, I wholeheartedly agree. You are only weighed down by the weights you choose to carry… This is light as air. My son is healthy and happy. That is all that matters! xox
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While I did enjoy your portraits this week, I failed to read about your new findings. So am happy you followed up with it in this post. You seem like someone who will move through this new challenge beautifully and find inspiration in it. Your little guy will be blessed and gifted every minute of it. Best wishes and, yes, that smile definitely lights up!!!
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Thank you so much… What sweet words to say. He will surprise everyone, I’m sure of it. 🙂 And we will just be the lucky ones, having been a part of his wonderful journey.
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This is good news. I see in you the natural power that leads you to this. Acceptance, full-hearted acceptance is powerful. You and your family will face challenges as you move through this. I had a boss long ago who would tilt his head and say, “think of it as a challenge and an opportunity.” I didn’t understand for sooooooo long, that it wasn’t MBA-speak for him. It was how he really saw the world.
I wish you peace with the weather you will experience over the next many years. But you are the mountain. You are powerful. You will face your challenges with grace and love and compassion.
❤
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Thank you so much Melanie… I truly believe you are never given more than you can handle and every challenge is a chance to become a better version of yourself. The same applies to families I think. Your boss was a pretty smart guy. Thank you also for your confidence. Everyone’s support has been so very heart warming. I’m so grateful for this amazing community.
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When I was in graduate school studying linguistics, I knew a woman who was a sign language interpret who was studying humor in the Deaf community. She said they always have trouble understanding the humor in any joke that involves sound. It was an interesting research project for sure.
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That makes a lot of sense… It would be like a blind person not seeing the joke in physical comedy. Very interesting indeed.
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And people in the deaf community have jokes based on signs that we hearing folks don’t understand:-) Humor in another language is always more difficult!
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Right? I’m always trying to translate jokes between my English and French friends and families and it really never works out!
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I love your positive attitude. Thanks for sharing this, your son is so cute 🙂
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Thank you… he is just a little darling.
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Beautifully written post! That’s one lucky little boy, to be in a family with so much love and support!
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Thank you so much… being in the present moment, that is all we can do. xo
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I am so happy for you! Before my children, I was a practicing speech language pathologist and so when I read this post I am thrilled he will be getting the intervention that he needs and you the tools to help him along the way! I see great things in your son’s future 😀
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Thank you Karen. We didn’t want to let it just play itself out. Many told us he was too young for a speech therapist, but I don’t believe that. I’m sure she will be an invaluable help. I would LOVE to know what a “speech language pathologist” does… If you have time! Here is my email : ffff.blog@hotmail.com
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I’ve just read this straight after the last post, and I’m so happy, and so completely unsurprised, at how your positivity shines through! I think that’s maybe the most important thing to pass on to our children and your two are so lucky they’re getting it in bucket loads from you.
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Thank you so much Sally, that is so very sweet to say. xox
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oh my, what a discovery Yanic! I can totally relate to what you write when you say that the fact that he didn’t respond to you was an issue and now you are relieved to know he didn’t do it on purpose and that you “just” have to adapt to this new situation. Also, now you know you have not failed as a parent (at least, I always ask myself these questions when things go wrong with my kids!) It must have been very hard on all of you, for him too, not being understood. I’m happy for you that you are so positive as always and I’m sure everything must seem much lighter now!
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Thank you, I must admit that the “failure as a mom” thing did spring to mind a few times when we didn’t understand what was happening. My daughter was such a chatter box so early, but she had been in daycare since 10 months. And here I was, staying at home to be more present and my son’s learning seemed stunted. You try not to worry, but I really wasn’t doing so well with that. We can truly move forward now.
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There is relief in knowing the answer, even if it’s not the answer you would prefer, isn’t there? All the best to you and your family in managing this situation. He looks like a little sweetie, and nothing would change that.
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Thank you Andrea, he truly is an absolute sweetie… This to me doesn’t really seem like “a thing”, you know? It seems like it’s just part of who he is. I keep telling myself he could be sick, deaf is not sick. Communication with anyone is a learning curve, this one will just be that. 🙂
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Such a cutie- and I’m so thrilled for you. Having knowledge and info makes a world of difference, and he’s one blessed kiddo to have faithful loving parents like you too- lots of prayers for you mama!
http://www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com
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Thank you Chelsea… What sweet things to say. So many wonderful souls have already reached ou to help us through all this and I’m super excited about learning some sign language. 🙂
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He’s so cute!
My friend Erin is teaching her little boy sign language. He’ll be two in June. He isn’t deaf, he’s simply learning two languages at once. He signs as he speaks. It’s his normal. The ways we communicate are wide and vast. There’s a lot more to it than sound. I’m sure you’ll work it all out just fine!
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Than you Robin. I think so as well. We will find our way and that will be our normal. 🙂
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That’s great that you finally found out. And we are in such an age that hearing loss is hardly a problem now. Of course he’ll have to work at it but hey you all can learn a third language! I have hearing loss above 4,000 hertz. I can’t hear crickets, cicadas or tiny christmas bells or similar things.
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Thank you KC. I know it will be work, but we are up for the challenge. And yes, that is exactly what we thought : 3rd language! I didn’t know you had hearing loos. That is exactly what what is going on with him on the right. He would turn to 250, 500 and 1000, but not at 2000 and 4000 htz. I wish I knew more about “sound” in general. What a fascinating thing to research. I think I may take some time during nap time to read a bit. 🙂
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So much love for you all!
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Thank you NIcole. xox
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You have such an upbeat attitude to carry you. So glad your husband is strong and supportive–often they are the ones to crumble or turn away in frustration in such an event, one which involves their children. Blessings on your family as you move forward through this!
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Thank you so much… I lucked out. I have just a wonderful partner in all this. We are 100% a team always. Gotta keep smilin’… Life is just to wonderful not to smile. 🙂
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What a sweet, darling boy he is! Glad you are getting answers. He will do just fine with a family like yours! Love to you friend!
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Thank you Summer… he is just a little charmer. I hope we do okay. I still get little bits of panic at the thought that we won’t be up to par, but I know that is just the unknown talking. xox
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It feels like I am constantly repeating myself in comments on your blog, but I am just amazed with the attitude you guys have. The amount of mindfulness, positivity and happiness… You leave me speechless every time. I am wishing you all the best in the world, because, my friend, your family really deserves it! Heart full of love ❤ Milica
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You are very sweet… it wasn’t always this way. My husband and I didn’t use to feel this way about life in general. Funny how a few years and some deep introspection can make such a huge change. We are much happier now and we want everyone to feel the way we do. If some of that comes through on my blog, then I’m so happy! xoxo ❤
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Luckily, it seems that with years we are all growing more of much needed wisdom for a happier life. Reading your blog always puts a kind smile to my face. Thank you for sharing a piece of your wonderful world with us! xoxo
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I missed your last post, sorry. This post is wonderful you sound so excited about the journey ahead rather than being fearful. You must be so relieved to finally have answers to your own thoughts which I know that you have shared here before. I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend 🙂
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Thank you… I would be lying if I didn’t admit that a lot of “worse case scenarios” ran through my head regularly. Especially when people start weighing in. *sighs* You try not to listen and worry, but it,s hard to block out everything. We had a wonderful week-end, I hope yours was amazing as well. It finally feels like Spring here. YAY!
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what a wonderful family. i love the way you not only embrace this new development, but look at it as an exciting adventure. it is an exciting adventure! you are right… this is his normal… he will not be missing a thing… he will be better for it 😉 especially which such an amazing family that is so supportive and ready to learn and grow right along with him… just beautiful!!
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Thank you so much Jenny… We all have moments when it feels a bit overwhelming, but everything new does right? The only thing we can do is love him fiercely so that he always feels love.
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Dear Yanic, I’ve been away for a bit and came back to read this. You are an inspiration to me. Your positivity and energy is just shining. Thank you.
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Thank you Alexa… I don’t always feel so “shiny”, but I am pushing myself more than I ever have before. Your support and encouragement (as well as everyone else’s) has been an amazing source of strength. And for that, I thank you!
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